This is the kind of Christmas stocking filler that I love: it's a collection of the sayings of the world's dopes. These sayings are gathered into 11 sections ranging from Rich and Famous to Famous and Infamous Last Words. Along the way, of course, the British Royal Family has to be included as have Politicians and Businessmen.

A book such as this sells itself on the quality of its findings so here is a selection of what's in store for you. You can then decide whether you can take any more!

George VI, George V, Charles I and Henry VIII were all second sons who succeeded to the throne.

Prince Phlip once remarked, 'Constitutionally, I don't exist'. If only, laddie, if only!

Princess Anne once said she would like to have been a long distance lorry driver. If only lassie, if only!

The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred.

Reindeer like to eat bananas.

The skin that peels off after sun burn is called blype.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before: Mae West, who else?

The art world thinks of me as an unclutured. polo playing clot: Prince Philip. Yes, Phil; and your point is?

The measurement of one foot is based on a third of the length of the arm of King Henry I of England. Is that true I wonder?

Race car is a palindrome. May be but the real phrase, in good English anyway, is racing car which isn't a palindrome. Sorry, I shouldn't have said that!

Eosophobia is the fear of the dawn.

Degringolade means to fall and disintegrate.

The growth rate of some bamboo plants reaches up to 3ft (0.9m) per day.

It is an offence in Britain to riotously demolish a hovel: a five year gaol sentence could await you if you did such a thing!

Vang is the most common surname among the Hmong people of Laos.

It is against the law to have sex on a parked motor bike in London.

The Battle of Waterloo lasted nine and a half hours.

The average person laughs thirteen times a day.

Once you're dead you're made for life: that's true Jimi Hendrix!

It really is all rubbish but I loved it!

 

© Duncan Williamson
29 January 2005

© Webmaster Duncan Williamson 2005